Skills Gained as Age Strikes

These are a few of the skills I have gained as I've gotten older:

1. For lunch today, among other things I decided to cook Brussels sprouts. I put them in a pot, fished out the pot lid – which of course had been hidden separately in the laundry room. While attempting to find the lid I began thinking ( a new endeavor of mine ) about needing to boil water in the pot first, then add the sprouts. Returning triumphantly with the pot lid – it had suffered an over boil of oatmeal, was subsequently put in laundry/cat rest room & dining hall last week, and the cats had pretty well cleaned up the lid. After washing cat spit from lid, while still wondering if I should remove the sprouts, then boil water, then replace the sprouts in the boiling water, I placed the lid on the counter, concave side up ( to keep the remnants of last month's p b & j sandwiches, plus last night's clam chowder spills - still redolent of the sea ( VERY redolent) - that remained on the counter from adding to the odor soon to be wafting gently and fragrantly (?) through the kitchen. Then carefully poured water into the pot lid!! Which immediately tipped and spilled water over the counter! Aarggh!

2. Again in the kitchen – please do not think my capabilities as ONLY valid in the kitchen. I can – and have – hung wallpaper on the floor in rolling waves reminiscent of a sea shore, have gone to the hardware store TWICE in the same day to FINALLY give the store the correct window size – ya gotta measure the putty distances too!

3. But back to my kitchen skills, 2 days ago, decided to have an omelet with buttered toast for breakfast. To the fridge to get the eggs. Eggs buried under God knows how many containers of flotsam and jetsam. Removed excess F&J, placed on the 1/4” X 2' counter space available near the fridge – the rest of the available space is taken up by a dish drainer used to store “air drying” pots, pans, knives, wooden utensils, etc., until we need to use one of them. Fished out the eggs, leaving the F&J to replace in fridge when I put the eggs back. Changed mind to fried eggs on toast. Popped bread into toaster, cracked eggs into pan, back to fridge to get butter for toast. No butter. There was an almost full container of butter last night, now it's GONE? Mount butter expedition. Pull stuff out of fridge, piling it on top of stuff already balanced on the generous “counter space” by the hulking dish dryer/storage unit. Fridge approaching nothing left, no butter. Toast had already popped up, was cooling. Frustration mounting, then gave up and began putting F&J back into fridge, while toast cooled and eggs overcooked. Then found I had the butter in my hand! It was one of the things stacked on the eggs which I'd first removed to retrieve the eggs! Aarghh again!