My Body, My Guide: Bye Bye Barbershop

Life is such an ironic trickster, wouldn't you say?

Once again I'm brought face to face with walking my talk. The old saying you have to "live it, to give it" just dropped by for an excruciating visit last week.

I am a Life & Body Coach. I help guide people who are stuck in their head back home to the wisdom of their bodies. I like to boldly imagine that, I too heed the wisdom of my own body. *Ahem* Let's just say there are varying degrees of listening.

At the end of a life altering, super expansive week facilitating  Sacred Sensual Splendor in Mexico, my body was humming with pleasure. In fact I was unable to find anything other than pure pleasure tingling and pulsing in every cell. It was the first time in more than a decade I could recall such a clear message from my body. It seemed to be saying, "Thank you! Finally you're in full alignment with your divine purpose!"

I've been on a plan of methodical transition from 20 years of working in my barbershop to working full time as a Coach and Vividly Woman facilitator. As my business has grown I have released barbershop days one by one. And I've been down to just one day a week.

In those 20 years I have given toddlers their first haircuts, cheered when, as young children they lost their first teeth, celebrated when these teens graduated high school, and smiled as they return home from college to introduce me to their girlfriends (and sometimes boyfriends). I have held those who have just lost their spouses, consoled and congratulated people through all sorts of life changes. I have come to love my clientele. They are another family, they are my friends.

For quite awhile now my back has been the loudest voice of my body.

In 1982, my 5th grade freedom was rudely interrupted by the corseting of the "Boston body brace."  It would be worn 23 hours a day for the next six years of my adolescent life. I was warned about my "bad back"and the pain and or possible disability in my adulthood. Little did I know my spine was to be one of my greatest teachers over and over again.

Last Wednesday was my first day returning to the barbershop after Mexico bliss. My back started talking the second I laid hands on my first client of the day. Quick jabbing pains and tightening that took my breath away let me know something was not ok. By the end of the day I lay on the barbershop floor in tears, unable to get myself into my car.

I'd been in a familiar cycle for several months now. It went something like this: My body feels great while I'm coaching and facilitating workshops, dance, and Yoga. I barber all day Wednesday and as a result, Thurs-Sat my back aches. I receive regular chiropractic, massage, and acupuncture, by Sun it's feeling good again. I had a hundred reasons why I needed to be barbering on Wednesday and managed to blind myself to this cycle until last week when the truth was louder than all my reasoning.

"Hey Body Coach, get out of your head!" I am listening now. My body is no longer being built to barber.

I have a whirlwind of emotions going on today as I stay home on my first Wednesday. It's one thing to talk about retiring, it's another to do it.

Today I feel a little bewildered, like I have a lot of space and I'm dizzy with possibility. I feel sad, I sense grief in my entire chest and upper back. I feel relieved, and I sense that in my shoulders, stomach, and temples.

This is where the rubber meets the road. To trust even though this is not in the plan. I say farewell to my loyal barbershop clients, the safety of my old livelihood, and the pain in my body. Today I embrace my potential. I step off into faith and know that only one of two things will happen....

I'll either touch down on solid ground, or I will fly!